Hurricane Drunk
by heroesfan1
Summary: He sweeps through her life, he's comes and goes in the blink of an eye.


**_Hurricane Drunk_**

_i. No walls can keep me protected_  
_No sleep, nothing in between me and the rain_

Felicity's fingers flew across the keyboard as she hacked into yet another government database-the 10th (_or was it 11th?_) time, since she'd signed on. They really should make it harder, she thought as she pulled out the blueprints she'd been looking for.

"Do it yet?" Oliver's hand brushed over her shoulder and she turned, startled that he'd actually been there the whole time.

"Yep. It's done." She reached for her purse and got to her feet, brushing past him and heading for the stairs. It'd been a long day, full of hacking and fixing up new sites for QC and she was more than ready to head home and curl up in her bed with her brand new copy of _Divergent. _

"Where are you going?" She asked, halfway up the stairs and noting that for once, Oliver was dressed. Blue T-shirt, leather jacket... "Dinner with Thea?" She guessed, checking that her keys were in her bag.

"No, actually. Laurel." She paused and looked back at him. He was smiling, something so rare it made her smile.

"Good for you." She gave him a finger-gun wave and he rolled his eyes, turning away from her with a slight grin. Her shoulders drooped and she turned and walked on, her heels clicking unforgivingly on the metal stairs.

_ii. And you can't save me now  
I'm in the grip of a hurricane  
I'm gonna blow myself away_

It wasn't that she liked him. No, because that would be way to cliche. _Hello_, she was Felicity Smoak. IT goddess, MIT graduate. She didn't settle for mediocrity, nor did she ever allow herself to be mediocre. She was fond of him, and he was a good friend.

Not that she would say, turn him down if he ever showed any interest in her in _that _way. She didn't even know what she would do if he did.

She glances up at him, working on the salamander thing with a look of suppressed rage. He and Laurel had called it quits (for good this time) a week ago, and he'd been all silent and broody since. More so than usual.

To be honest, Laurel annoys her. And yes, Oliver's not-so-great disposition might have something to do with it. When she'd first met the girl- yes, she seemed great. But after that whole lets-go-hunt-the-hood fiasco, she was fed up. She said she'd loved Tommy, and then almost immediately after that she sleeps with Oliver (she is not _completely _oblivious), then after Tommy dies, she blames Oliver/the Hood. She just doesn't get it, and maybe that makes her a bad person, or whatever, but that's what she thinks.

While she's been thinking about all this, Oliver has come down from his salamander ladder and is now looking at her with a look she can't quite place. She gives him a nervous smile and goes back to her work. She feels his hand on her shoulder a second later and when she looks up, he's closer than he's ever been. His eyes are a dark blue and the stubble on his face is getting quite out of control, and _god,_ why is her heart beating so damn fast?

"Oliver?" Her voice sounds shaky at best, and she winces when she hears the wobble.

He doesn't answer, instead swoops in and kisses her, pressing her back against the plastic seat. Her heart's beating so loud and so fast by this point it all seems to blend together, sounds like the wind roaring in her ears. It roars louder, almost scolding when she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him back. He's going to break her, going to put an arrow through her heart, and she _knows _and she'll let him do it anyway.

She is mediocre, especially when it comes to liking him.

_iii. I'm going out, I'm gonna drink myself to death_  
_And in the crowd I see you with someone else_  
_I brace myself 'cause I know it's going to hurt_  
_But I like to think at least things can't get any worse_

It's horrible. Honestly, that's the only way she can think to describe the relationship. He kisses her, tells her he loves her and the whole time she knows he's kissing Laurel, loving Laurel and she doesn't know how to get away from it. The sex is good, hell it's _amazing_ but it's not what she wants in a relationship. So she tries to tell him no, stop, but he ends up covering her lips with a kiss and the night ends with her wrapped in his arms.

She meets the family, and honestly, that's where she wants more than anything for it to stop. They're so nice to her, and it almost kills her because she knows that they know that she's just his Laurel replacement. Even Diggle knows, and it's driven a wedge between him and Oliver, and lead to more than a dozen late night talks that end with him telling her to run as fast as she possibly can and her chuckling nervously and patting him awkwardly on the shoulder.

He talks to her, really talks, and that's worse because she can almost convince herself that this relationship is real. That awkward hope and blurring of lines is what almost makes her leave the whole Hood-team, but she ignores it and adjusts her mind-frame. She is Oliver's distraction, and Laurel is the prize. She can't forget that, she refuses to.

He tells her about the island, tells her what Thea is like in the morning, how much he hates Roy coming over. She tells him about work, what she likes about his body, what she likes about him and her irrational fear of her dad suddenly popping up on web-cam while they're otherwise occupied. She doesn't tell him about her other fear that's hardly irrational; that she's going to get too attached to the way he kisses her on the head while she's working and steals her blanket when they sleep.

He brings her coffee in the mornings, three sugars, two creams and she forgets Laurel and stops waiting for the inevitable heartbreak, even though she knows she should. She forgets she shouldn't like him as much as she should.

_iv. No home, I don't want shelter  
No calm, nothing to keep me from the storm_

She finds him with Laurel 6 months later, kissing in Verdant. Him leaning over the bar, her leaning forward over a cup of coffee. Her coffee.

Her heart cracks a little, she can feel it, but she refuses to cry. He hears her trip over a chair leg as she walks away and she hears him call her name. She doesn't stop until she's in the foundry. She flicks her computer on and ignores him when he tries to 'explain'. When Diggle gets there, 20 minutes late, smelling of Carly's perfume and doughnuts, she smiles and asks him about his morning. She pretends nothing's wrong, but Diggle guesses anyway. He doesn't talk about it but shoots Oliver a glare so severe she's surprised he doesn't just drop dead.

When she goes home that night, he's waiting. She doesn't talk to him, just grabs everything that's his and shoves them in a box. She hands it to him, and his fingers catch on her sleeve when she tries to move away.

He pulls her to him, and she relents because it's such a practiced move; he pulls, she follows. He kisses her softly, and she remembers. She pushes him away and looks him in the eye.

"Are you doing this because you're sorry or because you love me and you're sorry?" The question is Felicity-honest and there are no loopholes. He pauses for too long before pursing his lips. She disentangles from him and goes to her bedroom, shutting the door.

He's gone by morning and Felicity allows herself to cry.

_I'm going out, I'm gonna drink myself to death_  
_And in the crowd I see you with someone else_  
_I brace myself 'cause I know it's going to hurt_  
_I'm going out, I'm going out, I'm going out_  
_I'm going out, I'm going out, I'm going out_


End file.
